What if?

I was wandering the Web (seriously...I find myself on the weirdest and the most awesome websites every day) when I came across this AMAZING post. 

I began to wonder "what if" as well...

What if I never got on MySpace that day and started chatting with the man I call my fiancee?

(In the beginning - 2006)

What if I never asked him to come up to my old college to meet up with me the first time?

-- We would never have started the life we have now. We live in a cute little house on a cul-de-sac. Not the cutest on the outside, but cute as heck on the inside! It's HOME. 

-- We would never have had our amazing little girl. I was READY to be a mother, and I knew the time was coming. I just didn't know when. 

-- I never would have had the chance to explore Downtown Atlanta and Little Five Points

-- I never would have rode around on MARTA (Atl's "subway") all day for no reason at all.

-- I would probably still be dating jerks

-- I never would have met the funniest person ever...May he rest in peace :'(

-- I wouldn't have these amazing folks I call my in-laws, either!!

Needless to say - I am very blessed to have him in my life. The 25th will be our 7 year anniversary. 

This man is my ROCK (seriously...he keeps me sane), even though we drive each other insane and we argue like an old couple!

I LOVE YOU, TONY!!!

Depression

I have written about my struggles with anxiety and agoraphobia in the past, but I have yet to touch the topic of depression. Upon my diagnosis with generalized anxiety disorder at the age of 15, my psychiatrist at the time said I have a "little bit" of depression. It is 12 years later (I just turned 27) and I still have depression, for which I take Paxil for. It's amazing what one little pill can do.

I have days where I do not want to get out of bed and start the day, but my daughter is amazing motivation. Just hearing her across the hall in the mornings is enough to make me want to get my day started!!

Half the time I am not motivated to clean. I despise cleaning. My home is hardly ever "immaculate" and spotless. It is NOT completely filthy like a hoarder's home, though!!

Another part of depression is being unorganized. I think I am the most unorganized person I know!

There are days when I do not even want to go into work, too. I love my job, but I have days where I don't even want to turn on the phone and hear it beep in my ear all day.

Do you have depression? What do you do to conquer the symptoms?

Happy mother's day!

Happy mother's day to all of the awesome moms out there. Especially to my mom, who gave me life and my mother in law who helps us so much.

I also want to say how much I love being a mother. I found out I was unexpectedly expecting a baby on 4/23/09 and it was such a hard time for me, with a lot going on (parents divorcing, etc.). On 12/7/09 my fiancee and I welcomed a sweet 7 lb 4 oz baby girl into the world and my life has been forever changed. She has made me into a more patient person, someone who is more kind. I may lose my patience with her a lot, but deep down I would not trade motherhood for the world. She has forever changed my relationship with my dad (long story...) and I am so thankful for that. I love making her laugh just to hear the sweet sound of a child laughing. I love it when she asks to hold my hand. I love it when she wants to cuddle. I love the random kisses and hugs.

To all the moms with angel babies in Heaven, I hope you find comfort in knowing you will be reunited again one sweet day.

Who reads this?

I've noticed I have had well over 600 page views, and each post gets about 1 view each. Out of 80 posts, only 1 has received a comment! So...if you're out there, leave me some love! I would love to see a comment or 2 :-D

World's best dog

I have to brag on my dog. He is a German Shepherd mix, and he never ceases to amaze me! I love him almost as much as my own kid. When K and I are home alone, he protects us so well. Every sound he hears outside, he growls and runs to the window or door to investigate. When Daddy (hubby) is home, he never does this. It just goes to show that dogs are truly "man's best friend"!!
We rescued him from a lady who no longer wanted him, and I am so glad we did. I was hesitant on getting another dog since having to put my other one down several years ago (before K was born). I wouldn't trade this mutt for the world!

Tips

Not sure how long this post will be, but I was just thinking of some tips that could be beneficial for some people. I will add to this as I come up with more stuff!!
- If you have an ant problem, go to the store and buy Grits. Lay the grits around the areas where you see the ants (ours came in from water sources such as faucets, shower area, etc.). They will take the grits pieces back to the colony. Grits will expand in their stomachs and ultimately kill them. I tried this and it worked pretty well, diminishing the ant population within a week or two!!
** Grits are real big here in the South and inexpensive, so I'm sure it's easier to find here than at other places in the US/the world. I've heard oatmeal works just as well, though. **


- Don't waste money buying a "play grocery store" set for your kids. A great way to recycle YOUR groceries is to let your kids play with the boxes that you may put in the trash. I let K have several boxes: some from pasta, butter, cookie mix, etc. Of course, these boxes had food inside that were wrapped up in plastic.

Work

I currently work at a call center making reservations and billing. On a daily basis with billing, I am either spoken to like I am a child, yelled at, accused of stealing one's information. All kinds of things. I can only take so much from customers. If you are reading this and you treat people on the phone the way some customers do to me...Please stop. For those like myself who are very sensitive and self-conscious, it HURTS. That is all. Rant over.