Thursday, May 8, 2014


Little miss K is sick. She never gets sick. She woke up around 8:30 this morning and came into our bedroom like she always does. First thing she said was "my ear hurts". As I was closing our windows (we slept with them propped open a few inches last night) I heard her crying. Walked into the living room and she had thrown up on the floor.

So, I wiped it up and grabbed a bowl for her for the next time. She has thrown up 5 times today, and she hasn't eaten anything at all. She has been drinking little sips of water, though, so that is a good thing. We will keep an eye on her, per the nurse advice line, and if she is still sick tomorrow they will be glad to check her out. She was more concerned about her ear hurting rather than the throwing up, as there has been a stomach virus going around lately.

I do hate to see my little girl feeling so puny but I will admit, the "break" is nice for a day or two. My parents came over today to bring birthday cake, since my birthday was yesterday. K tried SO hard to play with my dad, but after about half an hour she was ready to lay back down on the couch. Poor baby. She is always on the go and playing.

I am almost positive it's just allergies, though. We had trees cut down at home and the pollen and dust from it was horrendous. I just hope she did not eat something bad yesterday.

Here's hoping she feels better ASAP and we can avoid a trip to the pediatrician.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Lack of sun

I work full-time from home, so I am cooped up in the office 35-40 hours per week. Before work, I'm busy doing whatever needs to be done around the house or just dealing with K's antics. It doesn't help that it's still winter time and the sun isn't out that often, either.

I have noticed lately that I have been getting headaches. I also know they could be from withdrawal symptoms from Xanax (which I only took 3-4 times, go figure...more on that later...maybe) and I need new glasses. When I go outside in the sun...if the sun ever shines....I feel better.

I found a doctor that makes house calls. FINALLY. I just need to make an appointment. In Georgia we have some ridiculous rule that you MUST renew your license in person. Well, let's see, someone with major anxiety/agoraphobia cannot handle doing that, especially having to wait HOURS. I just can't. But, if I have a doctor's note on a letterhead they will renew it by mail. I cannot begin to explain how EXCITED I am to have found this doctor. I can't wait to have him out here to my home so I can get the right medication to help me.

I will update on that later once he comes out. I will also start documenting getting out more and conquering agoraphobia.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014


I know....That is something you NEVER hear southerners write about. I was at work yesterday (I work from home, thank god) and Hubby texted me around 11:30 am  saying it was snowing outside. Sure enough, it was really coming down! I was soooo excited, and took K outside to play in it on my 10-minute breaks and my lunch. After I got off work, we went out into the cul-de-sac and played with our neighbor's daughter for a little bit. We were only out there for about 20 minutes when K said "I done outside, Mommy". I wasn't done, but she still so little I didn't want her to get frostbite or something! It was a blast. There is still snow on the ground today, so we will go out before I go into work later!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


The next few weeks coming up are always hard. 2/15 marks 5 years of my friend passing away, and a week later it will mark 5 years of my paternal grandmother passing away.

For some odd reason, I don't get nearly as sad over my grandmother's passing. I guess it's because she was ready to go, and passed away peacefully in her sleep. It makes me sad to know that K never knew her Mawmaw. She is buried next to my Pawpaw just a few miles from our house, so I hope one day I will be able to take her up there once it warms up a little bit. One day I showed K a picture of her, and asked who that was and she said it was "Nana". I wonder if Mawmaw comes to visit her and says that she is Nana. Who knows.

My friend, on the other hand, was only 24 years old. Yes, his death was also sudden but the circumstances under which it happened is what makes it so sad. I had only seen him about a week or 2 before, and he was happy as could be. One early morning, his mother discovered the worst thing a mother could ever go through...her baby gone. Due to privacy for the family (though I doubt they'll ever see this) I won't mention full names or what happened exactly.

The next few days and even weeks were the most painful days of my life. I tried so hard to stay busy, but when I wasn't busy I was an emotional wreck. My friend was gone. The funniest person I ever knew was gone. My fiancee's best friend, who was like a big brother to him, was gone. A mother, father and sister were grieving. I cannot even begin to fathom their pain, but I hope they know that my thoughts have always been with them and that he is never forgotten.

Just the other day, K and I were hanging out at home. Out of the blue she asked me "Where's Matt?" I was extremely caught off guard and I asked her to repeat what she said. She says quietly, "Where's Matt?". I'm trying to fight back tears, and I went onto my very old Myspace page and pulled up a picture of him. I called her over to me and asked her who the man in the picture was. (I am so glad I have a few pictures of him from the nights that we all hung out together) She was only interested in his dog, who is also in the picture, so I had to ask her a few times who the man was. She whispered to me, "Matt?" Again, I asked her to repeat herself and she says "Matt...". How she knew who he was, I have no idea. I have never shown her a picture of him; I have only spoken about him a few times.

Immediately I texted his sister, whom I have become close friends with even though she lives out of state now, and told her about it. She was quite amazed and said that her daughter had asked her the same question the day before. I also texted Hubby, and then I called me to ask me about it. I completely lost it on the phone telling him about what she said.

I can only hope that he visits K in her dreams or comes to play with her. I hate that it's the only way that she'll ever know him or my grandmother. I highly believe that children can see things that we cannot. I do find comfort in knowing that I will be able to see them again one day.

Mawmaw and Matt, I miss you both terribly. Please come visit us sometime, even if it's just in my dreams.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Piano - Music - Etc

As y'all know, from my last post, I got a piano for Christmas. I recently ordered a book of staff paper so I can rearrange some of my music to where it's easier to play. It is harder than it looks! I downloaded a program on my PC where I can just click on the staff and it puts the notes on there. I just re-arranged a song, so I will have to try it out on that program and then print it out. I would share a picture of my arrangement, but due to copyright stuff, I probably won't share it just in case! I picked "Your Song" by Elton John.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Christmas 2013

This year's Christmas was one to be remembered, for sure. We were able to spoil K with a bunch of presents, and got our dog a few things as well.

One thing K got was a tablet, but we ended up returning it yesterday because well...putting it nicely it took me 24+ hours to even be able to activate the thing so she could use it. I waited well over an hour each time when I called tech support. I wasn't having it anymore.

On a lighter note - My amazing parents and grandmother surprised me with a PIANO! What! I know. Crazy! I was talking to a friend of mine a while back because she saw my FB status about wanting a piano, and she said that she was selling hers.  I told her I couldn't afford it, but my parents found out and bought it for me. How amazing. And yes, I cried happy tears....and looked like a total fool.

I cannot wait to teach my daughter all about music. I kind of taught myself piano at age 10, but it has been five years since I last played so I'm a bit rusty. I love my new piano :-)

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

New Dog

A few weeks ago, Hubby was on Craigslist looking for trucking jobs and he also decided to check out the "free" section under For Sale. He found a free, purebred German Shepherd Dog about an hour from our house. He told me he was going up there to take a look at her. The owner then said if he didn't take her, she was going to take her to the pound. So naturally he texted me and told me what she said, and then asked if he could bring the dog home (He has a heart of gold). Reluctantly, I said fine go ahead. I knew Bear would be fine with her, but I wasn't sure how she would be around K.

Hubby got her home late that evening and she settled in. The next few days were tough. She didn't care for K or Bear at all. She growled and snapped on occasion. Wouldn't let anyone near her food. If she was sitting beside me, NO ONE could come near me at all. I read up on this, and it turned out she was trying to be the Alpha Dog. Per we had to show her that WE are dominant.

We started going out the door first. Another trick was if she was laying down, we walked over her instead of around her. We made her sleep in her crate at night....if we let her in our room, she is in our "den" or our "territory" which can make her feel empowered. I made her sit and wait for her food and water. It was a lot of work, but it seemed to really help.

Now she will let others come near us if she's sitting with someone. She and Bear will share a bowl, and she won't growl at him. Life is good with her now. She is fitting in quite well, and Bear loves having a playmate.


She always waits outside the office when I am working!